Conversations and Pet-Peeves

Conversation between my mom and me… again.

Mom: “How’s the diet going?”

Me: “It’s not a di…”

Mom: “..et, I know. Anyway, how is it going?”

Me: “About the same as I was last week when you asked!”

The remaining conversation about the topic was my mom wondering if I “fell off the wagon” because I haven’t lost much recently (this is the reason she didn’t even find out I was losing weight until I had lost over 30 pounds…there are benefits of living a state away). Followed up by the great, wacky diet fad she saw on Dr. Oz (whom she loves, and I hate) that would help me lose some incredible amount in a week. She doesn’t mean to be rude, I know that. It is genuine concern, I know that too. She is one of those people food addicts hate though; the kind of person that can eat ABSOULTE crap and not gain anything (I get my chubby genes from my Dad; he’s a big guy too). If you think I am exaggerating, the last time I visited she ate maybe five bites of her healthy dinner, claimed to be stuffed, and then had two LARGE pieces of cake. Yep, nothing put crap for that woman. (It is also where I learned my fabulous eating habits.)

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Two things that I have upgraded to pet peeve status since I have started losing weight; 1) Thinking this is a diet, 2) Sassy remarks disguised as non-sassy remarks about how fast or slow I am losing. Let me broaden those two statements. I don’t have anything against diets. They are exceptional for people who need to lose 10-15 pounds for an upcoming event or summer or because all they have to lose is 10-15 pounds. Cleanses, low carb, paleo, prepared frozen foods, shakes…all of these help lose weight, but aren’t designed to be sustainable forever (and yes, I know some would argue that low carb and paleo can be, but I like doughnuts). Weight Watchers, SparkPeople, MyFitnessPal, [insert other journaling website], or just plain pen and paper is simply teaching those who eat too much how to eat less and make better choices. This isn’t dieting folks; this is learning how to eat how our bodies were intended to be fed! This is closely tied in with point 2.

Diets restrict and change how a person eats allowing them to lose a few pounds fast. This causes people to think weight loss should be fast (even those of us doing a calorie restricted program forget its slow going sometimes). So when someone like my mom or Dr. Oz hears that I am only losing 1 pound (+/- 0.5) a week I am suddenly put into a category where I am not talking this serious or I have given up because March has not been kind to my scale. (No seriously, my scale is having a bad month and taking it out on me. It’s telling me I have only lost half a pound this month. It has to be lying to me, I just don’t know why yet.) Outside of having gastric surgery, most experts agree that long term success comes from those who lose only 1-2 pounds a week. It seems like it’s a snail’s pace to look at the weekly totals, but over a year that is 52-104 pounds! People assume if I don’t have a big change that I have given up, or if they see me with a piece of pizza in my hand assume I am binging. To bring the point home; this isn’t a diet, and it’s not cheating if I have points for pizza! (Actually, it’s never cheating if I am ok with a possible weight gain if I go over points.) Everyone can save their backhanded compliments for something else, even those that are given under the guise of concern. (Wow that is bitter, but again upgraded to pet peeve!)

The most surprising thing for people is when I tell them that I am not in this for the weight loss, or at the very least that weight loss isn’t my driving motivator. It is just a very delightful side effect of learning how to eat properly. As I mentioned earlier, my mom did not teach me healthy eating habits. She didn’t do it maliciously, and it wasn’t because she didn’t care. I just grew up in a pre-helicopter, pre-organic/all natural/no sugar era.  The 80’s were the last great decade where Kool-Aid and Twinkies reigned supreme in a kid’s diet. I am raising a kid of my own now, and I cannot ignore what we know about childhood eating habits and how they affect the rest of their lives. That is my motivation. I want to break the cycle and I want my son to grow up reaching for an apple instead of a Ding-Dong. (Ok, that is wishful thinking, but if all we have is apples and no Ding-Dongs, I get my wish by default.) So no, I am not on a diet, and yes I am losing slowly. That’s ok, at the finish line I will have skills to take me forward and I will have an improved relationship with food!

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Journeys, Booze, and Shamrocks Too!

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I hang out on Connect a lot (for non-Weight Watcher types, it’s the online WW community. Think Facebook without trolls. Connect members hit me up; username: Winteraine). It’s an empowering environment that provides tons of motivation (and not to sound like a broken record, NO TROLLS!!).  One recurring theme I see is getting your blue dot everyday (again non-Weight Watcher types, it’s staying within your healthy calorie zone each day…seriously people, just join WW so I don’t have to catalog the slang!! Kinda joking, kinda serious). I always have at least one “binge” day, sometimes two, which screws me for any type of blue dot challenges (typically this is on the weekend when I drink because I have additional adult supervision with the toddler…which is also why my weigh in day is Friday morning!). So for Lent this year I decided I was going to blue dot it every day; I was going to be healthy AF! I have been too! And 17 days into March, I have only lost 0.5 pounds. BOOM!

What the what?!?!? I eat less, gain more?!?!? Not cool metabolism! Today was my third weigh in for March and for the first time (excluding vacations) I have gained, only ½ a pound but it wasn’t a loss. I mean, I have had several weeks of no change, but outside of vacation eating, I haven’t gained.  I have been a good little girl, but apparently my metabolism likes the rebel side more. So I went into research mode (because I am an odd one and I love researching things…yeah, I excelled at papers in school). Turns out some people actually need a few more calories to lose weight. I must be one of them. Don’t misunderstand me, I am not talking a large amount of extra calories (that’s how we got into this mess), but I do mean eating all my weeklies and maybe a few FitPoints (Weeklies are the extra “here have some chocolate cake” points you get each week; FitPoints are earned by getting off your butt and moving).

So for the first time since becoming Catholic, I am breaking my Lent restriction and going back to my old eating habits (sounds impressive until you learn I have only been Catholic for like 5 years). What better day to start then on St. Patrick’s Day…the American day to celebrate your Irish heritage (even if you don’t have a drop in ya) and drink excessively.  Because that’s all being Irish is right? Having red hair and drinking and/or fighting in excess.  (Just for the record, I do come from a strong Irish background, as well as my husband. We’re about as Irish as an American can get!)

I guess the moral of this tale is, when you are trying to lose weight you have to find out what is best for your body and metabolism. What works for some may not be what works for you. I know I have said it before, but I can’t stress this enough…Never compare your journey with someone else’s!!!!!

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Hazy, Crazy Lady

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I have been having writers block. More accurately, subject block. I keep starting posts, only to go off on tangents or digress from the topic, and nobody wants to read the musings of a mad lady (or maybe you do but this mad lady doesn’t want her crazy to show too much). A lot is going on in my personal life that seems to be spilling over into my ability to concentrate on one thing for more than 5 minutes; holy crap on a cracker, I am turning into my toddler! (Case in point, I just started fiddling with something on my desk 4 sentences in, after talking about my inability to concentrate. FOCUS RAINE! This is a quick post, you can do it! I have faith in me!)

Just as an update, I am still working hard on my weight loss journey. I am seriously slowing down on how fast I am losing. Don’t know if I am starting to plateau or if I have just being doing this for so long now I am starting to slip up here and there. I do plan to write more, I promise! I have a nifty note pad that I keep handy with about a half dozen topics I have been meaning to get to. I finally have my allergies under control so I am coming out of my allergy haze (yep I live in a climate where spring is in full swing, don’t be too jealous…It’s also adjacent to hell, so the summer is murder by heat). I haven’t abandoned this blog so please stick with me and don’t forget about me cyber world!

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Funks and Wolverines

I guess it’s been a while since I have written anything since two of my friends have brought it to my attention (you know who you are, I am pretty sure it was a collaborated call out, and I am watching you two little schemers!). Always good to have friends who pull out the whip when you’re slacking though because this blog helps me a lot! Writing my journey is another way for me to remind myself of the whys.  February 19th was my six months Weight Watchers anniversary. As of my last weigh in (last Friday), I have gotten rid of 38.4 pounds.

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Kinda surprising…I thought adamantium would weigh more. Oops my geek is showing!

Tomorrow is weigh in so that could will change; something else that I hope changes, a funk I have been in. For the past three weeks (THREE WEEKS!!!) I have been slipping. Not a lot, but enough that I am having a hard time with a reset. I am not slipping so bad that I have gained anything, but if I don’t turn this around that’s a possibility. I can blame it on stress (which I have been under a little more of lately), I can blame it on being busy (which I am), I can even blame it on increased activity (trying to go beyond just being mom buff); the reality is though, I have been being good for 6 months now and I am getting bored and losing a little bit of my enthusiasm.

My one saving grace is I have a new normal when it comes to eating and my relationship with food. I can’t say I have broken my food addiction, because like any addiction, it still lives below the surface. I have replaced my need for emotional eating; I have been trying other fixes for stress. I haven’t found one that works as well as food used to, but I am developing enough remedies that I don’t have the need to turn to food now. Cliché as it sounds, exercise does work well; mainly because it also alleviates boredom, but the end result is I am not crunching on crap. I also have been facing whatever the stressor is and looking for solutions instead of doughnuts (speaking of doughnuts, it’s been months since I have had one…I am ghosting doughnuts after all our fabulous years together).  Biggest problem right now is boredom eating. My son loves to sleep and takes a three hour nap in the middle of the day (you can be jealous). I feel like I have run through all my fun options and now I am bored during this three hour span. It’s not like I can go have an adventure while he naps; CPS looks negatively on that. So reading, video games, and TV are my only real options. Guess what goes great with all those activities…food! Junk food especially (and by junk food I mean veggie sticks from sprouts or skinny pop popcorn). So that is my next project, how to not be bored while trapped in a box.

I have high hopes for breaking my funk next week; I bought a new pair of size 16 jeans as something to work towards. I am almost there too! I tried them on last night, and without having to do tight jean aerobics, I was able to zip them up while standing. I can zip them up, but they are a little tighter then I like, so I still have another 5 pounds before I can wear them and breathe.  This is big for me! I started this journey at a 22 and in just over six months I am (almost) a size 16. I look for motivation in everything. Weight loss is a marathon, and I think the key is always keep looking for inspiration! (Is there something longer than a marathon? That’s what I am on with how much weight I am trying to lose…but running doesn’t appeal to me so I am not down with the jargon.)

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Bottom pair of jeans were my favorite pair last August. The top pair shows how far I have come!!